Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize