he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
