i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
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Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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