its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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