Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
