In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
