his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
