hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I feel like abortions should bother me more
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Success! We fucked roommates!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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