So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
