don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
