Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
