When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
