Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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