I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize