When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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