the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
