I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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