So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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