omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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