just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It was a blind-side dick pic.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
