The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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