check it out our google latitudes are spooning
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
