I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
