i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
