I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
one might say we're banned from that church
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
