Soap is not a condiment
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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