FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
