We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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