hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
