You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You're breaking my sexual little heart
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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