But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
