The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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