I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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