My balls are so social today.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Randomize
