So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Text me some of your sweat
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