My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Randomize
