I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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