He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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