I'm jealous of your bromance
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
