I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
