I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
