so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
