so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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