I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We had sex on a dog bed..
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
