Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize