So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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