Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Congratulations! We have a period
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