I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I have post one night stand depression
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
