I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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