My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Randomize
