just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
It was confusing and full of hummus
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
