Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
