I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
