hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
