Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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