and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
