obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
soo... how was my night?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize