the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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