I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
