if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
