dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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