do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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