Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
