Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
