We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
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we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
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it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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