So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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